It's Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini

It's Kind of a Funny Story is a first-person narration from the point-of-view of Craig, a 16-year-old boy living in NYC. Craig is depressed, and it shows from the first line of the novel: "It's so hard to talk when you want to kill yourself." 

One thing that really interested me about Craig as a character is that he oscillates between thinking that he is severely depressed, and worse off than everyone around him, and thinking that he's just inventing his own depression. I think this could be a symptom of the depression itself, or perhaps comes from who Craig is as a person, or perhaps it might have to do with his age.  
The quotes below display Craig's tendency to have contrasting thoughts about his depression 



On needing medication: "I don't know if they really need it. I really need it."
When he starts improving in the psychiatric ward: "I'm not that much better, man."
On others with depression: "I've never really considered it, but there are people worse off than me, right?"

Thinking his depression is about craving attention: "This was all an excuse, I think. I was doing fine. I had a 93 average and I was holding my head above water. I had good friends and a loving family. And because I needed to be the center of attention, because I needed something more, I ended up here [the psychiatric ward], wallowing in myself, trying to convince everybody around me that I have some kind of ... disease."
Convincing himself he is using his depression to be dramatic: "I don't have any disease. I keep pacing. Depression isn't a disease. It's a pretext for being a prima donna. Everybody knows that."
-------


The first set of quotes shows the side of Craig, that was present many times within the novel, where he's almost acting as if he wants to be doing poorly. The second set of quotes shows the side of Craig in which he believes that he's just making up his depression. I think the contrast between these quotes displays a symptom of depression that often isn't talked about. We're living in a moment where we're trying to de-stigmatize talking about mental health and encourage people to get help, but how do you help someone who is constantly trying to convince themselves that they are fine and that there's nothing wrong with them? This is just another point that helped me realize how complex mental health is. 

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